Circular Validation
Do you hear me? Can you see me? Does what I say matter to you? Above anything else, every person on earth wants to know that when they communicate, it is felt by others. Every single person wants to know that when they cry, somebody else hurts with them and when they laugh, somebody else laughs with them. In an ideal world, communication would be so simple, and it would be easy to understand that at the core, every single person simply wants to be validated. Yes I hear you, yes I see you and yes, what you say matters to me. I finally got this lesson after hearing Oprah say it so many times on her show.
But what happens when you do not feel loved and validated? I believe that God puts certain circumstances in our lives so we must always listen and pay attention to what He is trying to tell us. When something is off balance in my life, I stop to think, what am I not doing correctly? The answer is always right in front of my eyes. If you ever start to feel as though you are not worthy and nobody loves you or nobody is around to validate you, ask yourself,why not? You have to love yourself first. You have to know for yourself that you are worthy to be loved and heard.
And here’s the harsh truth. Not everybody will like you, hear you or even know that you exist. You could be standing right in front of their face and they will not see you because they choose not to accept that you matter to them. And that is okay. What’s beautiful about our world is how diverse it is. For as many people who don’t vibe with you and don’t connect with your thoughts and energy, there are just as many folk who do. I have watched people force an alignment with others and it never works. If you have to work hard at trying to fit in with somebody, he or she is not right for you. I realized in my life that there were people who I had to release as my friends. They did not fit into my circle of validation.
Your friends should bring you closer to the person who you really are inside. Your friends should elevate your passions in life and there should be a natural alignment. The key is finding people who are congruent with your thoughts and beliefs, and who share your passions. Once you find these people in your life, be sure to practice what you believe. Listen to them, see them for who they are and let them know that what they say really matters to you.
But what happens when you do not feel loved and validated? I believe that God puts certain circumstances in our lives so we must always listen and pay attention to what He is trying to tell us. When something is off balance in my life, I stop to think, what am I not doing correctly? The answer is always right in front of my eyes. If you ever start to feel as though you are not worthy and nobody loves you or nobody is around to validate you, ask yourself,why not? You have to love yourself first. You have to know for yourself that you are worthy to be loved and heard.
And here’s the harsh truth. Not everybody will like you, hear you or even know that you exist. You could be standing right in front of their face and they will not see you because they choose not to accept that you matter to them. And that is okay. What’s beautiful about our world is how diverse it is. For as many people who don’t vibe with you and don’t connect with your thoughts and energy, there are just as many folk who do. I have watched people force an alignment with others and it never works. If you have to work hard at trying to fit in with somebody, he or she is not right for you. I realized in my life that there were people who I had to release as my friends. They did not fit into my circle of validation.
Your friends should bring you closer to the person who you really are inside. Your friends should elevate your passions in life and there should be a natural alignment. The key is finding people who are congruent with your thoughts and beliefs, and who share your passions. Once you find these people in your life, be sure to practice what you believe. Listen to them, see them for who they are and let them know that what they say really matters to you.